List of Signs That Your Man is From the Future

✭He goes by ‘Higgs Boson ’

✭He wears a torso-bracelet

✭He pays for dinner with an intense stare

✭You’ve never met his mother because she’s “on another planet”

✭He refers to dirt as “nitrogen sod”

✭His favorite move in the bedroom is to harvest a sustainable protein source from the pillows

✭He makes love like a goddamn hero

✭Whenever you talk about having kids he just shrugs and says “just more food for the Zortigons”

✭When he first saw you reading a book he asked you what you were doing

✭Whenever he takes out the trash he comes back saying “it’s so fun to be able to just throw things away”

List of Signs That Your Man is From the Future✭He goes by ‘Higgs Boson ’✭He wears a torso-bracelet ✭He pays for dinner with an intense stare ✭You’ve never met his mother because she’s “on another planet”✭He refers to dirt as “nitrogen sod”✭His favorite move in the bedroom is to harvest a sustainable protein source from the pillows✭He makes love like a goddamn hero✭Whenever you talk about having kids he just shrugs and says “just more food for the Zortigons”✭When he first saw you reading a book he asked you what you were doing✭Whenever he takes out the trash he comes back saying “it’s so fun to be able to just throw things away”
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